The most sophisticated word people use is:
“ HELP”
Help in exchange for any currency is always right. People always respect and value each other in this situation.
The problem occurs when there is no exchange of currency.
Yes, that’s true. Whenever we take a step to help people, the expectation is attached to it.
It doesn’t matter how loudly we announce it, that I don’t want anything in exchange for help, but the hidden desire does exist. At times we are aware of it and, at times, not!
The moment we take any action, expectation also takes birth, whether we accept this fact or not.
The same thing happens when people help without charging anything. They give themselves an authority to control, decide, interfere and command to the person( Whom we are helping)
The person who took help to balance it does uncountable small obligation.
The hepee ( the person who took help) in obligation of the unpaid help, does uncountable favours which has not any value in the eyes of the help provider.
Did you ever experienced it in life?
As this can be experienced in personal life or professional life.
Remember the need and the offer should be matched. Two important things are here, your help may get wasted if you provide it with assumption and without figuring out the need.
So, don’t waste your effort and time.
Unwanted help may bother other people and may hurt you as well.
Offering help to the clients and known people is prevalent. Helping each other is a strong medium to connect. This is how we grow by helping each other.
When helping others become critical?
Well, helping becomes critical when we don’t accept anything in return, but expectations are there. Let’s talk about it more.
Yes, that’s true. Whenever we take help from people, the hidden expectation is always there, even if we say it loudly that we don’t want anything in return.
It’s not possible. I haven’t seen that. Have you?
In return, we always expect something.
We expect in the form of mental, emotional, phycological, or public support.
Don’t we expect from that person, whom we are helping, to help us when we need it?
But why do we hesitate to say it?
Don’t we expect that person (whom we helped) to stand for us when we need it?
Having an expectation is completely fine. Energy exchange is always good either in the form of money or something else.
Why is it critical, then?
Why do people give it a weird shape?
Do pen down a couple of reasons.
Here are the reasons:
- We do expect something in return, but we don’t accept it.
- We say: “I don’t want anything,” but from inside we do want something in exchange for it of the same value or even more
- We do offer help as well as put conditions. Is it help? No, it is not. It’s an obligation in the form of support. Who wants an obligation until unless the need is more significant than
a liability.
- We do offer help, and in exchange for it, we do start controlling that person.
- We do offer help, and in exchange, we try to control their activities. Is it help? Now the other person should behave according to the help provider?
- We do offer help, and in exchange, we give our self the right to know everything about that person
- In exchange, we believe that we have the power of throwing our tantrums/remove frustrations on them.
- We believe that we are more resourceful the moment we help someone
Do you agree with the reasons? Please do add more.
Have you ever experienced any of the mentioned facts in life?
Well, I have experienced a couple of them.
As a result, many people avoid accepting help. They are ready to offer but won’t like to accept it.
If you are helping somebody, do communicate the expectations to avoid frustration and regret of offering help.
Stop helping if the purpose of it is to control, oblige, and chase people.
Do figure out the area of help. Don’t impose your help on anybody.
Is it essential to know the need and the area of help?
Yes, it is.
Don’t waste your time, if your help can’t solve any problem of the helpee( short form: whom you have offered help), don’t you think you are wasting time?
What is the best solution? The answer is: Help each other and communicate well.
Here are the steps:
- Very first and essential step- figure out the area of help
- Better to express your expectation and condition in return of help
- Communicate your expectations in advance to avoid frustration and disappointment
- Accept the fact of expectation and stop saying, “I don’t want anything.”
- After following the above steps, if you find someone to help, do help.
- Do charity ( at times people do charity also to get something in return)
At times helping someone spoils the relationships if it is impacted with the expectation of return.
The significant reason behind it are hidden expectations.
If you say, “I don’t want anything in return.” Do understand and accept it.
You have to be selfless when you are helping someone.
Being selfless is very easy, and we as human beings don’t like easy things.
Remember Three Things
- Save your relations, communicate well.
- When offering help ask yourself if there is any expectation,
If not now, will it occur in the future?
- Find out the area of help, if you can’t help, don’t hesitate to say “NO.” Don’t take stress because of it.
You will get more opportunities to help.
Thank you for reading the article.
Anjali
Emotional intelligent Expert
www.anjalithecoach.com
The more you know about yourself, the better you can handle yourself.
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